Life is asking me to change, again. Over and over again. Maybe it has been asking this of you too. Sometimes it would seem that changing is all there is.
We are up against a new life challenge that I am not yet able to talk about here, but what I am thinking about today is not so much about the challenge itself but about what piece of me, of us, will remain unchanged through all of the changes I and my family are undergoing. I think there is a constant that has always been there, though some days it seems to be buried in a pile of laundry that will never be put away.
It is the part of me that remembers a time when Travis and I used to kiss more often. Kiss him more often, it says.
It is the part of me that remembers a time when my mom let me stay home from school just to rest after a stressful stretch of school days. It says, Stop yelling and stomping in the morning just to hustle us all out the door right on time. It’s kindergarten.
It is the part of me that is sending hopeful energy out to my sisters-in-law on the brink of bringing new life into this world. I remember that it was my own birth experiences that taught me the necessity of being compassionate, finally, to myself, and that there is much more to be found in our pain than suffering. It was birth that taught me we do not yet understand all that our bodies are capable of, nor may we ever, but that we would do well to trust them and care for them a hell of a lot more than we do right now.
It is that part of me that, when life has handed me lemons, says: Ok. Time to buy limes and make a mint-flecked, lime-juicy drink with the little bit of gin that is left in the extra-large bottle purchased for springtime negronis and these kombucha cocktails.
It is the part of me that still dances in the kitchen by myself, in my apron, boys battling “bad guys” in the backyard, my Pandora station humming with Technicolor Beat, counters strewn with cutting boards and vegetables, sizzling sounds coming from the stove. I’m behind schedule and everything is a mess and I may have just cut my finger trying to chop parsley too quickly and/or probably burned another hole in another kitchen towel, but right here right now a part of my heart is still singing and free.
Minty gin lime refresher
1.5 oz gin
2/3 oz. fresh lime juice (or, the juice from one small lime), preferably organic
1/2 tsp. agave nectar
one sprig of fresh mint (6-8 leaves), roughly torn
Pour the gin, lime juice, and agave into a cocktail shaker and stir briefly to dissolve the agave. Add the mint and 4-5 ice cubes. Shake shake shake until very cold and mint is crushed, 15-20 seconds. Strain into a small glass.